1. |
What Led Us Here:
01:23
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2. |
Dependence
05:27
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It's the things we love the most that will define us.
We love most what will destroy us.
Silence fills the empty grave where you buried us in when you had gone.
But my mind is not at rest for my questions, they linger on.
A monument to all of our sins.
While I still feel your fingertips.
They are no longer a symbol of happiness, but a painful reminder of what I've lost.
All I wish for is a safe haven to return to.
It's a Midas touch to hold you and I don't know if I can go on like this forever.
We are lying underneath the pressure of sticking together.
If there were at least your words that I could curse but there is just silence.
Silence and a lovely face while my legs all feel like I haven't stood in years.
But don't you dare to say that I haven't tried, oh how I have tried.
This deadweight is what's pulling me down, what I'm holding onto is what's holding me back this time around.
There is blood on your lips and you don't even notice.
But I still feel your fingertips.
They are no longer a symbol of happiness but a painful reminder of what I've lost.
All I wish for is a safe haven to return to.
It's a Midas touch to hold you and I don't know if I can go on like this forever.
We are lying underneath the pressure of sticking together.
We are lying, we are lying.
I can still hear you say: live a little more, hurt a little more,
then you will understand me.
My legs all feel like I haven't stood in years, so don't you dare to say I haven't tried.
Because of the fear of going too far, we don't go far enough.
We don't go anywhere from here.
I know that I can't hold on, but neither can I let go.
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3. |
Outliving
04:42
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I will carry this torch because it's the only light that I can see so far.
A lost and bitter soul longing for someone to prove me wrong.
Saying farewell is always a little bit like dying yourself.
But it is mostly loss teaching us about the worth of things.
The melancholy comes in like a fog from time to time.
I put it on and it reminds me of how I lost myself.
These times will change your view as everything else is trying to turn you to stone.
I already know I'm outliving myself, but I have to make sure that I am not undone.
Where have I been?
What have I been?
A particular distraction at best.
Only a few circles in the water will prove that we have ever been here.
All our words are so transient, soaked in from the ground.
When they say: 'All you need is a hand to hold.',
too much fascination for what I cannot control.
I can't control myself.
I can't control myself this time.
How can I detest the things I've done, when they brought me salvation?
The melancholy comes in like a fog from time to time.
I put it on and it reminds me of how I lost myself.
These times will change your view as everything else is trying to turn you to stone.
I already know I'm outliving myself, but I have to make sure that I am not undone.
Where have I been?
What have I been?
A particular distraction at best.
How can I detest the things I've done, when they brought me salvation?
To all those walking the tightrope all alone,
To all those grieving on their own,
To all those I say:
Don't be afraid, you are not alone.
Don't be afraid, we are not alone.
Don't be afraid, you are not alone in this.
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4. |
The Bond
05:24
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With my eyes wide open I walk the plank.
With my eyes wide shut I jump to catch your fall,
crashing on ice where I expected water to be,
Can't break through, can't break out.
It's hard to forget you when you gave me so much to remember.
At least it's not my fault this time.
The bond is holding on my lungs, breathing me in and out, won't let up.
Diminishing hope and fading trust in everybody that pretends to hold the rope for me.
Why is it we remember good times and it hurts more than the memory of bad ones?
With my eyes wide open I walk the plank.
With my eyes wide shut I jump to catch your fall.
Sometimes we have to get lost in order to find ourselves.
And all the tracks end here and I don't know where to go.
And I finally feel freedom in midair falling.
We all have stories we will never tell.
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5. |
Relapse
04:28
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This is not an excuse, this is a demand for change!
Weeks become days, become more than you can take.
Everything begins to feel so distant, abuse of substance.
But you are right if you say that the pain won't be constant.
Sleepwalking, shallow breath, bloodred eyes by night.
Sleepwalking, shallow breath, bloodred eyes by day and night.
So many wasted dreams for a try to escape,
So many wasted dreams for this senseless denial.
You said that you already hate what you see in the mirror,
but it's not the mirror that changed you, the world is the reflection of our actions.
You caused what you try to alleviate, we have to live with the mistakes we make.
But in want to lift the weight of the world, you only made it harder for yourself.
It's a denial to say this isn't the way to anything worse.
And so this is the last time I'm wasting my breath on you.
Weeks become days, become more than you can take.
Everything begins to feel so distant, abuse of substance.
But you are right if you say that the pain won't be constant.
Right! It will go to return stronger again, stronger again.
The first time is never the last time,
but the world doesn't disappear if you close your eyes.
No love lost, no love found.
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6. |
What Made Us Abound:
01:59
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7. |
Encounters
04:52
|
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Everything is just subjective,
decisions, answers, sadness and joy.
There's no happy end, there's no choice.
There's no happy end, there's no choice.
And I couldn't say if it's harder to lose somebody or to never find anybody that's worth losing,
this is worth losing.
I never regret the things I've done,
but always the ones I didn't do.
There's a reason why the clearest nights are always the coldest ones.
We are trapped in a moment we never expect, we never expected to happen like this.
Everything we had,
Everyone we met,
Everytime we thought this could last.
But everything is just subjective,
decisions, answers, sadness and joy.
There's no happy end, there's no choice.
There's no happy end, there's no choice.
'Cause choice is just an illusion that we create by looking back,
I'm not looking back!
So here we are: one year after we started this.
And I'm coughing out all the blood, sweat and tears we put into this, we used to build this up.
And I'm coughing out all the blood, sweat and tears we put into this, we used to build this up.
It's time to forget.
So here we are and I'm not looking back.
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8. |
8/23
03:03
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Coming home has always been the endless view of trees beneath the orange fielded background in full bloom.
A single rose, a scarlet hope, a tempest in recalling, a lonesome bonfire reflected on the leaves.
Coming home has always felt like drifting: pulled with the current, pulled with the burdened.
It has always been like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, thinking there is one more step than there is and crumbling.
I am crumbling, set adrift.
And in this one moment of dark surprise
as I try and readjust the way I thought of life,
I am crumbling, set adrift.
I should know who I am by now, I should know who I am.
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9. |
||||
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Coming home with the air around being light, rare, sterile:
you ought to give me roots and wings and a reason to smile.
Coming home has always felt like drifting: pulled with the current, pulled with the burdened.
But I guess people only see what they are prepared to confront.
So tell me why:
'Why do people love me? But always seem to hate you?'
'Because you're a beautiful lie and I am the painful truth.'
In the midst of retracing the steps,
as we try to find a reason for the unthinkable,
we crumble, break and tear apart,
until all layers are burned away
and all that is left is who and what we really are:
We really are helpless.
Now you escape on the boats you build for what you love,
Pulled with the current, pulled with the burdened.
What happens when you return and find nothing but a hollowed shell,
shingles and floor, walls and echoes,
and the light that lead you here has now burned out
and the ones who built it have traveled afar,
and you can't follow them no matter what shoes you wear.
A single rose, a scarlet hope,
a tempest in recalling,
a lonesome bonfire reflected on the leaves,
though I know it won't flower like it did last spring.
Because forever does not make loss forgettable,
it makes it only bearable.
Sometimes I think what I remember is more real than what I see,
but I remember how you said to me:
Always thrive, always prosper.
Always thrive, surmount and abound.
Our greatest mistake was always taking the sun for granted,
heroes are not born and will never die.
Always thrive and always prosper,
sadness has never been the last gift he gave to me!
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10. |
Children
04:29
|
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Catch me up at 2am where I don't know if I can hold this down.
But it wasn't all your fault, it was mine for believing every word you said to me.
There are some promises that I have made
and some days that I would trade, a few cries in the distance.
After all that I've been told,
there are some promises that I can't hold,
and no carnations will save us this time.
And I don't think you can understand
how I'm supposed to be a man without this hand to hold.
And I'll start letting my guard down
when people stop giving me reasons to keep it up,
but I don't think you care.
So will you let me carry you?
'Cause I cannot bear to miss one day
from now until we've grown.
But I don't think you care.
And I'll start letting my guard down when you stop giving me reasons to keep it up.
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11. |
To The Wolves
06:36
|
|||
|
All the feelings I harbour, there's no pity and no remorse,
it's just the sad memory of the times we had.
What I push away when I'm awake will hunt me in the night.
Clock hands only run in one direction.
And we are probably the worst enemies of ourselves,
not willing to let us recover anymore.
Grace is not fair.
Providence is not fair.
A swan song to sing is what will be left of us.
Like one of these nightmares where you keep running and running only to discover you are chasing yourself.
Throw me to the wolves.
Throw me to the wolves and I'll return.
Throw me to the wolves and I'll return leading the pack.
Grace is not fair.
Providence is not fair.
It will take every hope you have left.
I will hold on to what you said, that you can't take this on debt.
And I knew you would find loss in me.
You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only option.
Did we earn these scars? Or have we taken it too far? Don't let me go.
Please don't let me go.
Like all these nightmares where you keep running and running only to discover you are chasing yourself.
All the feelings I harbour, there's no pity and no remorse,
it's just the sad memory of the times we had.
There's always a light if only you decide to let it find you.
And I know you will.
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